How to communicate with your girlfriend

Nowadays, there are more and more single young people in their old age. Many men cannot find a girlfriend because of their personality problems. Men are generally more impetuous and fail to pay attention to many details, so they lack the ability to communicate with their girlfriends. In fact, women are more gentle in character, and as long as they are more tolerant, they can maintain their relationship. So, how to communicate with your girlfriend?

Relationships take work to make last over time. One of the best things you can do is improve your relationship with your girlfriend. Learning how to better communicate with your partner will help you both open up to each other and feel closer to each other, no matter what stage your relationship is at.

1. Ask questions. Asking questions is one of the best ways to improve conversations with your partner. You should be asking each other daily questions about how work is going, how you both are feeling, and other daily "updates" on each other's lives. Start with bigger, more general topics, then drill down into more specific revelations. You might start by asking your girlfriend how her day was, then asking about a bad day or a good time at work. Once your girlfriend starts talking about the details of her day, you can try to work what she said into the rest of your conversation. For example, you might ask, "That's happened before, hasn't it?" to let her know you care and give her support.

2. A big problem in communication is a partner who doesn't feel or understand. Rephrasing your girlfriend and just speaking your own words shows that you are listening and processing everything she says. If you find that your thoughts are racing and you have a hard time focusing on the conversation, this is also a useful method to help you clear your mind during the conversation. Use a natural conversational tone.

Look for nonverbal signals. Body language often speaks just as loudly as your voice. The way you and your girlfriend are positioned during a conversation can send unintentional signals and may also reflect your subconscious emotions. Avoiding eye contact may indicate a lack of interest in what you are saying, shame about something being said or done, or feeling upset or withdrawn. Turning your body away during a conversation may mean your partner is feeling unfairly, frustrated, or emotionally closed off. A loud, aggressive tone of voice may indicate that a conversation has escalated or is about to escalate and that emotions are running high. Your girlfriend may also feel like you can't hear her or understand her. Some body language positioning is accidental, so don't accuse your girlfriend of being upset or shutting herself out. Ask in a caring way, such as, "I noticed that your body language seemed to indicate that you were upset, but your words contradicted that. Do you have any thoughts?"

Be honest. Being honest means not lying to or misleading your girlfriend, which should be easy. But being open requires you to make yourself vulnerable on some level, and many people struggle with that. If openness doesn't come naturally to you, you and your partner need to work on it for the sake of your relationship. Open communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. If you can't be honest with each other, you're inevitably going to have problems. Tell your girlfriend the truth. Don't suppress or bottle up your feelings, because she might be upset if she finds out about your feelings. If you're struggling to be open, let your partner know about the problem and try to explain why. If she knows you struggle with it, she can be extra supportive and may learn to ask you prompting questions or request clarification.

Reflect before you speak. Many people are so eager to get their thoughts/feelings out in the open that they fail to stop and think about what they say. This is true both for expressing your thoughts and for responding to something your girlfriend says. Think carefully about what you want to say before you speak. Be aware of how you feel when you speak to your girlfriend. Speak as clearly and directly as possible. If you respond to something your girlfriend says, give her a second to make sure she has finished speaking. Then take a second to process what she said and think about how to best phrase your response.

Communicate respect. You should try to be respectful to each other in every conversation you have with your girlfriend. Respect may be an obvious requirement for many people, but it's important to be aware of your words, your tone, the subtext of your conversations, and your body language, and always be respectful of each other. Take responsibility for what you say and do during a conversation, even if it escalates into an argument. You both should fully express your thoughts and feelings, but you need to be respectful. Validate each other's feelings. Try to understand why your girlfriend feels the way she does, and at least respect how she feels. Show respectful gestures. Don't slouch, avoid eye contact, or do other things while listening to your girlfriend. Face her and give her your full attention. Be respectful in any response you give. Don't interrupt your girlfriend and never tell her that she feels she is wrong. If there is any misunderstanding between you, don't get upset and don't get angry. Instead, you should calmly ask questions and try to get your girlfriend to clarify what she meant.

Don't rush things. If you haven't dated in a long time, or if you're new to sharing your feelings in general, it's best to take it slow. You should still work on communicating with each other every day, but you and your partner should have an honest conversation about how comfortable you are with divulging your personal thoughts, and what time frame you might need to go about this. Don't rush into deep, tangled, or difficult conversations. Let them come naturally when you're both ready to talk about them. Don't rush your partner, and don't let her rush you. Do what you both feel comfortable with, and know that any effort to improve communication will help strengthen your relationship.

Use self-disclosure statements. Self-disclosures are very useful in relationships, especially when you are just beginning to share your feelings or talk about something personal. They are a way for you to reveal yourself incrementally but candidly to your partner, under the assumption that she would talk about herself. Try building in the following self-disclosure cues to get started.

How to communicate better with your girlfriend

Try different ways of communicating. There are many different ways to communicate, and there is no right or wrong way. However, some methods may be more effective than others, and for some people it may take some experimentation to find a way of communicating that works for both of you. Try to be expressive. Let your partner know how you feel and ask her how she feels. Use task- or fact-oriented communication. Some people prefer to convey facts rather than emotions, such as saying, "I don't feel like I'm making enough money at my job," rather than saying, "I'm sad and I'm worried about my financial situation." ”. Assertive communication involves communicating your feelings, opinions, and needs clearly and directly without infringing on your partner’s rights. Avoid passive communication. This style of communication involves not expressing yourself or expressing your thoughts/emotions/needs, which can be very damaging to your relationship. Try to reduce emotions before talking about important matters. Take a few minutes to calm down before discussing important matters so that your emotions don’t guide the conversation, but be sure to validate both you and your partner’s feelings.

Focus on small talk. Small talk is extremely beneficial in any relationship and it helps to build daily communication in your relationship. You can reminisce or laugh about shared experiences, talk about what you did each day, ask about weekend plans, or just share observations that you find interesting or funny. Small talk about your daily life helps you and your girlfriend get closer and get to know each other more intimately. Ask your girlfriend to elaborate and provide more details. Make sure your follow-up questions convey genuine interest in what your girlfriend has to say without coming across as suspicion or mistrust.

Make time to communicate. Many people with busy lives or different schedules find that the lines of communication can become strained in a relationship. However, this can be easily corrected if both parties make time for communication. Even if your life is extremely busy, make time for honest, open communication, just like when you eat, sleep, or your daily commute. If you have a strict schedule that allows you to maintain your daily routine, try to schedule alone time. Set aside at least one alone time per week to maintain a healthy, open line of communication. Try to limit interruptions when you are talking to your girlfriend. Turn off the TV or radio and put your phone away so you are not distracted. Talk to each other while doing daily activities, such as driving in the car or doing chores around the house. Pay attention to when your girlfriend is not acting normal or looks like she has something to talk about. Ask if there is a problem or if there is anything she wants to talk about. Make sure your conversation conveys mutual commitment, trust, and intimacy.

Consider seeking professional help. You may find that communication is not coming easily in your relationship, or that the lines of communication have become strained due to life events. There is nothing wrong with this, and it does not mean that your relationship is not working, it just means that you may need to work a little harder. This is where a professional may be of service. A licensed couples therapist can help you and your girlfriend find ways to be more open and communicative. You may also be able to work on being more honest, taking more interest in each other's lives, and finding more time to be together alone.