Most men cheat because they are told by their friends

Marriage consultant Newman conducted a study on male cheating, and the results showed that 66% of men feel guilty when they cheat, and 73% of men cheated after knowing another woman for more than a month. These are the "betrayal truths" revealed by men. Are you shocked?

Why do men cheat? What are the reasons for cheating? What do men think after cheating? Under what circumstances are men most likely to cheat... These questions not only trouble women, but even men themselves are not completely clear. Marriage consultant Newman conducted a study on male cheating and found that most of the answers came from the wives' perspectives. He wondered if he could get a more truthful answer if he asked men.

So for his new book, The Truth About Infidelity, Newman surveyed 200 husbands, both those who cheated and those who didn't, to find out the real reasons why they cheated. Here are some of his conclusions:

1. 66% of men feel guilty when they cheat

The conclusion is a bit scary: It's not just shameless bastards who cheat.

Newman pointed out that in fact, nearly 70% of cheating men never thought about being unfaithful, and almost all of them wish they hadn't cheated. But obviously, guilt can't stop a man from cheating, because men are very good at compartmentalizing their emotions.

"They can bottle up an emotion, like guilt, and deal with it later," Newman explains. So even if your husband swears he'll always be faithful, don't count on that happening. It's important that you both work together to get the marriage you want.

2. 77% of cheating men are infected

77% of cheating men are infected. They have a good friend who also cheats, and hang out with friends who cheat. In such a circle of friends, men feel that infidelity is normal and logical. His subconscious mind tells himself: My friend is a good man, he just happened to cheat on his wife. Maybe even the best men can't avoid cheating.

It's hard to forbid your husband from hanging out with Mr. Glutton, Newman says, but you can suggest that they spend time in less tempting places, like playing sports or going to restaurants instead of bars or dance halls. Another strategy: Make friends and build a social circle with happy families who share your values, which will create an environment that protects your marriage.

3. 48% of men are not satisfied with their relationships

It's time to stop thinking that men cheat only for sex, as only 8 percent of men say unsatisfied sexual desire is the main reason they cheat. "We often think that men use their lower body to talk," Newman says, "but men are emotional beings who want to be appreciated by their wives and want women to understand how hard they work to get things done." The problem is that men, unlike women, rarely express these feelings, so you may not be able to tell when your husband needs a little affirmation. "Many men feel that it's unmanly to ask for reassurance, so their emotional needs are often ignored," Newman says. "But you can make a habit of mutual appreciation and consideration in your marriage, and once you do, he'll usually comply."

4. 12% of people think mistresses are more attractive

From the above conclusions, we can know that a man is not likely to cheat in order to get better sex from a more beautiful woman. "In most cases, he cheats to fill the emotional void." Newman said, "He has feelings for another woman and sex follows." If you are worried that he is unfaithful, then you should focus on making your relationship sweeter and closer, rather than just caring about whether each other is physically satisfied and whether the sex life is fresh enough.

Of course, you also need to understand the importance of sex: it is an important way for your husband to express his intimacy and love for you, so please make sure this has a certain priority in your life.

5. 40% of cheating men target their female colleagues

"Often, he's cheating with a woman in the office who admires him, respects him, and compliments him on his efforts," Newman says. "That's another important reason to make him feel valuable at home."

Fortunately, there are clear warning signs when your husband is being overly cozy at work: If he compliments or mentions a female coworker far more often than he mentions a male coworker, it's time to exercise your sensitivity and set clear boundaries with him: If it's just him and her, is it acceptable to work late together? Can they travel together for meetings? Have dinner together to discuss a project? Ask him how he'd feel if you did these things with a male coworker.

6.6% of people have sex with their mistress on the day they met her

In fact, 73% of men cheat on their partner after knowing the other woman for more than a month. This means that you can see the warning signs before he cheats on you, and you can even predict it before he cheats. Pay attention to these common signs: he is away from home more and more, he stops asking for sex, he travels more frequently, he hangs up on you... Your first reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny it, even claiming that he has never thought about cheating - especially before he has sex with her.

Instead, Newman advises taking control of what you can control — your own behavior — to get your marriage into a better place. Don't hesitate to compliment him, prioritize your time together, and be more proactive in your sex life. Give him a reason to put you first. Be honest with him about how you feel about your marriage (again, don't bring up the other person). Try saying, "I feel like we're losing something important in our relationship, and I don't want it to go away." Meanwhile, keep paying close attention to your relationship and doing the things that will keep it going.