A wife's gentle gesture can help a man quit smoking

Persuading husbands to quit smoking has become a big problem for wives. Experts point out that quitting smoking requires a psychological change to a large extent, and wives must tell them how to persuade their husbands to quit smoking while avoiding damaging the relationship between husband and wife.

Commanding tone leads to rebellion

Among the respondents, 94.95% of wives have tried to persuade their husbands to stop smoking frequently, and only 2.4% of wives said it was "indifferent". However, even if they persuade their husbands, the effect is often not ideal, and some even hurt their relationship.

In the survey, 64.45% of wives "speak kindly and truthfully", but the effect is not good. In the question "Under what circumstances will you listen to your wife's advice and quit smoking", 37% of husbands chose "when your wife is pregnant" and 42% chose "when your health is seriously affected by smoking". It seems that unless your wife is pregnant or smoking seriously damages her health, it is difficult for husbands to listen to their wives' advice.

When "they often persuade their husbands to stop smoking but the husbands do not cooperate", 60% of the wives think that this affects the relationship between the two; 55% of the husbands who were persuaded also think that their relationship was affected. Liu Shuqing, a national second-level psychological counselor, said that in the eyes of wives, persuading their husbands to quit smoking is a natural thing, which is to care about their health and has a good starting point, but some wives sometimes act too eagerly, which makes their husbands feel that "you don't accept me". For example, sometimes the husband has realized that he should quit smoking, but facing the serious, solemn and commanding tone of his wife, he will instinctively resist and deliberately continue to smoke.

Gentle comfort is more effective

In fact, bad communication can be transformed into good communication. The key is that the wife should not equate "the husband does not quit smoking" with "the husband does not love me".

When "the wife urged her husband to quit smoking but the husband refused to listen", 32% of the wives thought "maybe I didn't use the right method", and 17% of the wives thought "he didn't love me". Liu Shuqing said that smoking addiction, alcohol addiction and Internet addiction are all manifestations of addiction. The wife should first accept her husband and express her willingness to spend time together to solve the problem, and the husband's psychological resistance will be much smaller.

In the survey, 10% of wives "took the approach of forcing their husbands to quit smoking and quarreled with them when they smoked". In response, Liu Shuqing suggested that wives should gently express their concern for their husbands' health instead of complaining rudely, "Can you please stop smoking? If you continue to smoke, I will be so angry!"

In addition, wives usually expect their husbands to change quickly, but quitting smoking requires a long time of psychological preparation. Many people have smoked for many years and it is impossible to change instantly. So don't expect your husband to smoke two packs a day yesterday and not smoke a single cigarette today.

A happy atmosphere is conducive to quitting smoking

Experts also point out that sometimes the husband is unable to quit smoking not because of addiction to cigarettes, but because of psychological factors, so the wife needs to provide psychological guidance.

Experts say that people who are nervous and anxious are more likely to become addicted to smoking, while happy and relaxed people rarely pay attention to smoking. Therefore, wives should relieve their husbands' mental stress and do meaningful things with them to divert their attention. When your husband is under stress, you can sign an interesting agreement with him, or make a table and set phased goals, so that he can eventually smoke less or even quit smoking. During this period, you can constantly give rewards to your husband, so that he can not only change his behavior, but also gradually accept the idea of ​​smoking less or quitting smoking psychologically. You can also let your children "join the battle" to further arouse your husband's sense of responsibility for the family.